Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The Girl With The Chucks

Today I started walking with a good friend. She may be the absolute BEST person to walk with...I think she is just refreshing. She's a Seattle girl. I picture her as a teenager trodding thru the puddles in her converse at a time when the world was just beginning to hear Nirvana and Pearl Jam for the first time. She reminds me, with her vintage dresses and her tights, that it's ok to be myself. She reminds me that I'm not alone in this crazy world of raising teenagers and that sometimes it's ok to just give up for a little while and let my kids make their own mistakes. Where would we be if we had not learned from life experience? We can't force our kids into a mold. We have to let them grow. And we have to remember that we are still growing along with our children. Since when did we get to the place where we had all the answers? I may be wearing polo sneakers on my walk today but only because my chucks need an upgrade. I wore them out walking in creeks. And whether I'm wearing Ralph Lauren or Chucks, don't judge a book by it's cover. I'm a complicated person. I have enough layers to be an onion. I want to be everything...and anything...on any day. I want to experience it all. Often I experience life vicariously through my children. I love that my daughter puts holes in the knees of her jeans faster than I can put a run in a pair of nylons. She is LIVING. She is magnificent in her explorations and her adventures. Seeing the world thru her eyes...opens my eyes.
I chuckle when I hear new mothers "planning" their children's lives. They won't ever let them eat fruit loops. They are going to be the star of the little league. They even plan how many children of each sex they will have. And I have to shake my head because that little baseball star might turn out to be a computer geek who hates sports and wears plaid...and in a hurry, a little bag of Fruit Loops can make a long ride shorter. We have to let our children be children...and grow up to be who they are going to be.
Perhaps walking before a job was not the best idea in the world. I am a little stiff. But if I had not gone out to walk, I would be a lot less motivated to go work today. I would be laying in my bed counting the minutes and moaning to myself. Walking in the morning works a lot like an early morning shower. It wakes you up. The world is still opening it's eyes. The petals are unfurling, the dew is fresh on the grass and the birds are singing. The day is calling. And if you begin your day with a friend and a smile it sets the pace for the rest of the day.
This week, I ended one evening warm with my favorite wine and in the arms of someone I really am beginning to care about. And I began a day walking to the park with a friend. It gives me an appreciation for life. We can get far too caught up in our daily schedules, especially during softball season when every day is another day at the concession stand wishing for something other than a hot dog. We start to forget that there is a life, a world...a universe...waiting for us to take notice. I have to remind myself as often as possible that all of this is an illusion and my body is just a vehicle for my spirit. So while riding around picturing myself in my own version of "Meet Dave", I hope I can experience love, hope, laughter...and the early morning bird song...as often as possible.

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