A breath

I have this thin thread of hope today. I think perhaps the medication is kicking in. He said that he felt better and maybe does need this medicine. He is at a friends party, sleeping in the basement with other friends. And he is shopping on Amazon for camping supplies and talking about college.
He told his guidance counselor today that he has not changed his mind an yet I see signs of hope and am allowing myself to breathe- just for this night- and to allow him to be away from me to let his friends work the kind of therapy that only real friends can work.
I took my nine year old daughter to her doctor and arranged for twice weekly counseling for her. I need to be sure that she, also, is supported during this very anxious time.
And I am looking forward to a weekend visit from my mom, who can take just a little pressure off me. I decided to join the book club at church, as well. It is important that everyone dealing with mental illness in their home to have outlets. I still hope that this story will reach someone living with this daily fear of losing their child- and I hope they are strong and remembering to care for their own needs. It is not possible to walk this journey alone. Prayer and friends, normal family outings for ice cream and swimming- all these things lift the burden.
I am remembering to still love myself. And to live. And to breathe.