Friday, June 8, 2012

Chaos Rules the Day

It was the kind of dream that feels real. I heard my alarm ringtone sounding off, Mr.Bean trying to sing me awake. But it was ringing in my dream too and apparently I was not ready to let go. I was in a theatre with a friend I have not seen in years. She was very important in my life and we were together watching a film. She invited me back to her hotel to sleep, which felt like home since at one time she saved my life as a teenager and let me live in her home. I kept reaching into my Casey Was Here bag and hitting snooze when it rang.
After stopping the alarm from interfering with my reunion five times, my eyes popped open. That really WAS Mr.Bean trying to wake me up! Shit! I looked at the clock and lept from the bed. My joints were screaming at me to slow down but it was 7:24 and the bus would arrive at 7:35. Eleven minutes. I hit the floor bellowing.
"Wake up, everybody get their boots on the ground! We slept in. Make it in ten minutes and I'll ...take you to DISNEY WORLD!"
Maybe it wasnt Disney World...maybe it was just a cupcake.
But I didnt feel like driving. Today is an important day. Thanks to Seth's help yesterday, I feel almost ready for this day. Today my father is coming and we are having a birthday party and fathers day celebration. This means the world to me because it is the very FIRST time I will celebrate my Dad's birthday. Or Fathers Day. I grew up without my birth father. The first time I met him, I was twelve and he was signing adoption papers. When I was old enough to do so, I sought him out and we have an unbelievably rich relationship. He is a constant support. This year I got my first birthday card (two actually, because he could not decide on which he liked best), my first Valentines Day card and my first care package with an actual chocolate Easter Bunny. I am planning on cooking for him for the very first time. Watching him blow out his candles. Watching him smile when he gets the shirt covered in my kids handprints. I'm so excited.
But THIS was not the way to start out such an auspicious day.
Flying into the kitchen, I reheated day old coffee for Seth. He can't go into finals without caffeine. I'm thinking about yesterday and how I woke up to Seth putting Sage in the tub, a FRESH cup of coffee and laundry tumbling in the dryer. Paybacks are a bitch. And I thought my karma was repaid when I took him lunch at school yesterday. Back to reality!
Isabella is ready in five minutes. God love that child and her sense of responsibility. The maturity I see in her every day now. She is combing her own hair and out the door in minutes. Even Sage is throwing on clothes. Now I know her secret...and no more twenty minute arguments just to put on a sock. She can do it when she feels like doing it. Seth and Ian are moving slowly. I'm screaming Ian's name when I realize he is standing right next to me. But I don't have time to pull my hair out. As Ian lectures me about an argument that took place yesterday, I look frantically for Seth's Boston Red Sox hat. He is not going to leave the house without it. At least he won't have to find his backpack. He left it at school yesterday. Not a good sign when he has finals today. But that is going to just be what it is and I can't fix it now. All I can do is pour caffeine down his throat and hope for the best.
Riley is quiet, but quick. He is already outside screaming that he can see the bus. Because I don't have time to find Sage's Justin Bieber messenger bag, I throw a fruit roll up in the laptop bag. And she is out the door. I don't have even a second to throw kisses and laugh at Riley for carrying his socks in his hand onto the bus.
It is obvious that Seth and Ian won't make it. Ian is still following me and ranting about yesterday's drama. I bribed them to clean the house while I shopped. Apparently, Seth told the other boys that they would still get their reward as long as HE got the work done. I'm not going to argue this with Ian but I need to make this a life lesson for him. Who knows what Seth's motives were (and the entire thing was probably a misunderstanding anyhow...but that is beside the point since Ian does not understand simple misunderstandings) and whatever they were, the fact was that I was very clear about what I wanted when I left the house. Seth doesnt get to change the rules. If I say clean...then clean you must. Anyone could try to take advantage of Ian. Perhaps Seth just wanted to screw them out of a snack. I doubt it, but in life people will try to find gain in your loss. Ian is going to have to learn to do what he knows is right despite what people around him say. I won't argue with him because he knew what he was told to do and chose to not do it. And I don't care what the circumstances were. Knowing Ian, he will be still talking about this when he is thirty. In the end, he helped me empty the dish washer and put groceries away and he got his reward. I hope he will let this go because now I have to throw on some shorts and drive them to school. That is when I realize that Riley left without taking his pill.
I don't even know what is up or down anymore. I fill a to-go cup with coffee for myself and race to the car. My dreads are looking like sideshow Bob and my make up is smeared. As the boys fight over whether or not Seth can wear a hat that Ian never wears, I leave to sit in the car. I can see Ian race out the front door to claim shot gun. I hope that Seth will choose to not make a big deal out of this.
My phone is going off and as I pull out, I see that Riley is begging for his own reward. Apparently he had clean clothes in his bag and was able to change his shirt on the bus. He wants me to bring take out to school. Seth is being quiet in the back, not argueing with Ian over the front seat and showing the kind of maturity that I see more often lately...but not often enough to make life simple. I hand him the phone so he can text Riley and tell him NO. I could explain my busy day a hundred times to Riley and he will only get louder and begin to text in all capital letters.
I am worried about finals. Ian tells me that he can't understand half the formulas he needs to pass today and he won't pass without a good grade on that exam. Seth says that he is having trouble in math too. Because I understand completely having failed my math regents three times, I pass him my coffee and let him finish it off.
The next ten minutes were spent rushing around the school, combing the cafeteria and finally having Riley paged.
Riley has his meds, Seth has his coffee, Ian is wearing a clean shirt and the other kids made my day and got on the bus with a minimum of threats of retribution.
And now I'm seeing bats.
It's time to brew a fresh pot of coffee and try to remember how to breathe.

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