Pride

Today, my son served communion at church, dressed in a cardigan and red tie. I watched him as he sat with the other teens, as their liaison to the board- striving to be an example. And I know that every single day is a struggle for this kid. I know that he is exhausted with the struggle. This kid is heroic. I can't begin to tell him how amazed I am that I CREATED him, I brought him into the world- I'm responsible for this amazing human being and PROUD of not only who he is but proud that I had some part of that.
I have made choices that Hurt others. Hurt ME. I have tried every day to make each day better than the last- to grow and to be a force for change and to be as honest as I can about not just who I am but of the journey it took to be who I am. I try to instill values in my kids but there are times I wonder if I have just made a huge mess of things.
But as I watch these children echo the lessons that I most wanted to teach them I realize that somehow despite my mistakes, in always holding myself accountable for those mistakes and in being honest about those mistakes, I have taught them life lessons that will save them some of the pain- I hope. They are honest and authentic people and they won't ever wonder if I'm going to be there or if I will judge them because they know I have their back and they know they have the guidance they need.
Right now, I have very few answers for my child as he struggles to make it thru each day. And I can't say for sure that he will make it. But I know he CAN. And I know that when he does, he is going to make ripples that spread far. I don't doubt for a second this kids character and I am so proud of the man he is becoming. What a kid.